Le Specs Miso Cool Square Sunglasses
When you're mackin' on sweet babes in the sun, these cool specs will make you look like the rockstar you know you're meant to be.
Junk Food Yo MTV Raps Tank Top
If you're gonna be chillin' by the pool, you have to make sure you're wearing your YO! MTV Raps shirt. It'll be a good segue into talking about how you were totally on The Real World, Season 2. It's not YOUR fault you got kicked off.
KR3W Medicate Short
Only nerds wear boring bathing suits to the hottest beach party of the year. You need to throw on these bad boys to show the ladies that along with your devilish good looks, you also have a fun and adventurous fashion side.
A man in a friendship bracelet conveys a real sense of awesomeness to the ladies. What you really want is a puka shell necklace, but you can't stand having that awkward tan line.
Product Hair Styling Perfection
A long day of whistling at ladies on the beach requires a perfectly coiffed 'do. Girls love spiked hair, so you should apply this shit liberally.
Man, think of all the dick jokes you can make with this thing! You are so getting laid!*
Beer Pong Ice Rack
Throwing an awesome party means never having warm beer. Cold beer pong beer will ensure that you're the king of the beach.
Vers 1Q Portable Wireless Speaker
You know, sometimes you just need to throw on your metallic button-up, clear the living room at a party, and dance. If people try to act like they don't want you playing "Give It To Me Baby" on their home stereo, you can whip out your handy-dandy portable speaker. Spring break forever, baby!
*Please, never do any of this. For the love of all that is good in the world.