Spice Girls We Wish Existed
The Spice Girls were perfect on their own, but now that our Skechers and Trapper Keepers have turned into like, school loans and rent checks, maybe it'd be nice if there were a little more realistic group of Spice Girls. Who better to guide us through this trainwreck we call "life as a 20-something?"—Katie
Jobless Spice technically has a job since she's in the Spice Girls, but Jobless Spice will brush your hair and feed you crackers as you bemoan your own crappy job situation and scream, "Lena Dunham made a career out of being a jobless college grad so why can't I?"
Sporty Spice, you were great, but let's be real—exercise is terrible. We need someone like Not-So-Sporty Spice to tell us that running four minutes on a treadmill while eating a donut is absolutely enough exercise for the week. And then she will buy us cake.
I would say all us awkward people of the world need an Awkward Spice to look up to, but lucky for us she already exists and her name is Lana Del Rey.
Cat Lady Spice
Cat Lady Spice has 100 cats and drives in a car shaped like a cat and has 100 tiny Ikea beds that she tucks her cats into every night, and she does this for you, so that after you look at her, you will never feel bad about feeding your four cats Fancy Feast from crystal dishes ever again.
Posh Spice was absolutely lovely and tall and a good wearer-of-clothes. Which is fine. But now that we've all come to the realization that we will never have Gucci dresses, we need an Average Spice. The Spice Girl who will go shopping at Forever 21 with you and be equally horrified when the Hot Cheetos run out. Girl power, man.