Get out of here with your "eat a balanced diet," Sporty. I'm going to take Emma's advice and eat donuts. I will heed your "try and beat the boys at their own game" advice, though, because girls rule, boys drool.
Scary Spice, you are such a badass. Get mullered if I want to? Dare to get pierced? Hell yes.
Oh, Posh. Sweet, useless Posh. You used to be my favorite Spice Girl, simply because I thought you were so hot. What are you even saying on this card? "Problem with cheekbones"? That's horrible advice. I'm going to ignore all that and I'm just going to remember to always wear the little Gucci dress.
You ABANDONED us when we needed you, Ginger. I'm not listening to anything you have to say.