It's holiday season aka PARTY TIME! But remember, just because you're throwing a party, it doesn't mean it will be a success. Actually, a lot of parties (or, you know, the ones in the movies or TV shows) are total disasters and end in tears, overdoses and the occasional arrest. Here's my list of the absolute worst parties you could have possibly thrown or gone to, so be thankful you didn't and learn from their mistakes! You can cry if you want to, because jeez, who wouldn't?! -Ally
The Valley Party
So, OK, Cher was at this party
, and her designated driver tried to attack her, so she got out ‘cause they stopped, and then he drove off and deserted her, and then this guy with a gun held her up, took her money, and her phone and he yelled at her and he forced her to ruin her dress!!!! Nothing like a good sob story in your Alaïa to get your super cute former step-brother Josh to pick you up in the valley.
Hostess Gift: Cry About It Bandages
. Just incase you find yourself facedown in a mini dress, you'll have some cute bandaids to wear when you're telling everyone at school about your near death experience.
LC's Black and White Party
It's only the first episode ever of Laguna Beach and Kristin is ALREADY starting some drama. At LC and Morgan's totally lame "Black and White Affair," Kristin arrives at the party and the eye rolling begins—cue the fighting, pouting, and whining over Stephen for the rest of the series. From this point on Lauren cries in like, EVERY SINGLE EPISODE, so watch all the DVDs for a crying extravaganza.
Rayanne Graff's Birthday Party
Oops! Rayanne had a little too much to drink
again at the party she throws with the $270 she gets from her dad on her birthday. The life and host of the party bounces around her mom's apartment, almost gets a tarot card tattoo, then gets saved by Angela's mother. (Side note: in my MSCL dreams, RG gets totally sober in Season 2, turns her life around and works as a stylist at Urban Outfitters.)
STAY SOBER. That and Bliss Baggage Handler Eye Gel
so she doesn't look too awful leaving the hospital with the hangover of a lifetime.
DJ Tanner's 13th Birthday Party
In the Full House episode "13 Candles," DJ and Kimmy are scheming to get DJ her first kiss with Kevin at her boy and girl birthday party by playing spin the bottle. The kiss gets ruined by Danny, Joey and Jesse who are snooping (of course) and DJ is soooo embarrassed. Lucky for her, Kevin sneaks back for a after-party kiss and makes the night all worth it! Yay, tears of joy!
Any Bluth Party Ever
I mean, COME ON! It seems like the Bluth family can never catch a break. Whether they're throwing a benefit party for TBA
, a no-show birthday party, or ANY party on a boat, they're totally screwed. The family would probably cry if any of them had any emotions (except for Tobias
) but they don't
An Awkward Family Photo Album
for all of the past (and future) photos of the family that are stashed in that secret back room along with Tobias' bodybuilding magazines.