Interview by Katie Gregory
Hey Almie! Last we saw you was back in November. What have you been up to since then?
Hello to you! Wow, that was almost 9 months ago. I could have a baby now. I don't. I have a martini. Let's see...since then I've still been writing for my blog, Apocalypstick, as well as Hello Giggles and The Frisky. I started writing for The Gaggle and Thought Catalog, and on July 1 Thought Catalog digitally published my book, "I Forgot To Be Famous"! Also, I found $10 in a jacket I haven't worn in months, so it's been a very exciting time.
Can you tell us a little bit about your book?
Sure! My book "I Forgot To Be Famous" has the really long subheading "On dating, relationships, and getting screwed and screwed over in beautiful Los Angeles from a writer who is trying her best." Basically they're essays on dating, Los Angeles, dating in Los Angeles and also some pop culture stuff, like what "When Harry Met Sally..." would look like in 2013.
How hard is it to write a whole book? Like, should the rest of us even bother? What was your process like?
This book was years in the making. It's gone through so many changes. I turned and faced the strange quite a bit. It started 3 or so years ago when a literary agency found my blog and signed me. Since then we've parted ways, and it wasn't until I started writing for Thought Catalog that the book became a real possibility. They said, hey, want to write a book with us? And I said, hell yeah. So by the time they came to me with this opportunity, even though the idea for the book had changed, I still had its bones, in that I knew where it was going to go and what it would be like. It was still a lot of work, though. My process was drinking a lot of coffee, working on it all night, abandoning it for a couple of days, and repeat. But if you want to write a book, yes, it's worth it! Like they say in Galaxy Quest, never give up, never surrender! Excuse me, I have to watch Galaxy Quest now.
Changing gears. Tell us about your worst date ever.
The worst date ever was when some dude thought it would be really fun for me to watch him and his buddies play Guitar Hero and then wander around his campus. While we were walking around he stopped to pee on a tree because he was too lazy to find a bathroom. Because college.
Where's the craziest place you've been this summer?
I went to this Western/Cowboy themed bar in Vegas in one of the oldest hotels on the strip, complete with mechanical bull. It's supposed to be a fun and classic bar but it was really just creepy and old without charm. These two guys got into a fist fight because my friend didn't want to high five one of them. Then my other friend rode the bull. She did a good job. Then we got the hell out of there.
What are your plans for the future? BOOK TOUR?
Ha! My book tour is pretty much all online. The book has been featured on Hello Giggles and The Frisky, and I've done a few podcasts like Let's Talk About Feelings at SideOne Dummy Records and Get Up On This with Jensen Karp. I read my "Mad Men in the 1990s" piece on Get Up On This which was really fun, because I did all the voices. This is my first book so I'm just taking it as it comes. That's what she said. I'm sorry.
Will you ever tell anyone the secret identity of the Celebrity in your book?
Do you mean the celebrity in the story, "That Time I Blew It With That Actor"? I won't because I left some clues that make it easy to guess, I think. For the people who figured it out, when they first put his name together they think, "Who?" but then when they realize what his most well-known role is their reaction is, "Oh, yeah! I love him! I totally get why you make a drunk fool out of yourself!"
Who are some of your favorite authors? We're always on the lookout for hilarious lady authors!
As far as female essayists and nonfiction writers go, I adore Fran Lebowitz and Amy Ephron. And Julie Klausner! And Carrie Fisher's "Wishful Drinking" is full of lines so funny that they bite you but instead of wincing, you're laughing your head off. Like she has this anecdote about Bob Dylan...let me find it. Okay, so Bob Dylan showed up to her party in a parka and sunglasses. She looked at him and said, “Thank God you wore that, Bob, because sometimes late at night here the sun gets really, really bright, then it snows.” I just love that. How does it feel, Bob? How does it feel?