• (via Gothamist)

    How To Use Twinkies

    Twinkies are coming back this summer, everyone! Praise and glory be. Stoners everywhere are shedding tears of joy. Even if you've never actually wrapped your mouth around a Twinkie, you know that they embody the American spirit, and what better time for them to return than the summer, the most American of all times? Memorial Day! Fourth of July! Labor Day! Stars and stripes, y'all. If you're sober and still a little unsure about whether or not you actually want to consume the questionable (but delicious) snack cakes, then here are some other uses for them to keep your summer rockin'. —Katie



    Experiment
    Eat 100 and see what effects the tasty treats have on your body. Maybe they're the secret to everlasting youth. You won't know until you experiment.

    Throw Them
    You don't need a reason for this. Just think about how satisfying it would be to lob these things at a brick wall.

    Decorate
    You can turn Twinkies into art and if you don't believe me, then just look at the beautiful creations made by artist Nancy Peppin. Shit is serious.

    Pet
    Apparently you can submerge a Twinkie in Mountain Dew and it will not dissolve or fall apart. It just floats. Since Mountain Dew is the most questionable beverage of all time (7,000 pounds of sugar and glowing green), this is pretty good testament to Twinkie's staying power. It could be the most indestructible pet ever
    —the new pet rock, if you will.