From Los Angeles

Get Your Shit Together: Lindsay Lohan

Lindz, girl, as your biggest—and maybe only—fan left in the world, I really need you to get your shit together once and for all.  Yeah, your a hot mess. Yeah, you have a problem with addiction and mental health. And yeeeeah, you're probably still pining away for Sam Ronson, but I'm not having it anymore! One more article like this and I'm done with you once and for all. This sad excuse for a human being is not who you're supposed to be! 

Here's my advice: start this year off right by getting your soul back from the devil, living in the desert with a spirit guide, finding yourself, divorcing your family and staying the fuck out of L.A., NYC, or anywhere that has a bar. In 5-10 years you can pull a total Robert Downey Jr. and make a REAL comeback and we'll all be rooting for you once again.  Think about it. -Ally

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