Don't stand outside your ex's house with a boombox
This is the second time in a week that I've referenced this uber-creepy move from Say Anything but it bears repeating—no one actually wants that done to them! Imagine you're nestling into bed for the night only to look out your window and see your bug-eyed ex of the past, straining under the weight of his Bose iPod dock as he blasts that Really Special Beach House song you guys both liked. Hell. No. Just don't do it, people. Don't do it.
Don't fall for nonesense
If your emotionally distant ex shows up at your door with a "romantic" speech trying to win you back, don't be swayed. Listen, if my questionable ex popped up at my door expecting full forgiveness after a dumb speech filled with cliches, fuhgudaboutit. You dumped that person for a reason! Just because they have an aptitude for public speaking does not mean they have changed in the slightest. Bolt your door immediately and fire up the Taylor Swift.
If a doctor is like, "Hey, we can delete all the memories of your ex!" just say no.
Although it's tempting to forget they ever existed in the first place, don't waste your money on fancy brain zapping gadgets! First of all, you'll probably just end up falling for them again anyway (ah, romance), and second of all, just pop on a few seasons of Laguna Beach. It will soothe you to sleep and will probably kill more brain cells than any lousy old machine.