Get It Together: Break Ups
Is there anything worse than a break up? Going through a break up can be likened to dragging your body across a vast desert of broken glass, and there's nothing in sight except far off in the distance there's a tiny island with a palm tree, but maybe it's a mirage and oh my god why is life so hard? Now that I have painted a picture of how terrible break ups can be, let me remind you that things are only going to get better! One day, as you're weeping into a bucket of Ben & Jerry's, you'll realize that the tiny little mirage island you saw is suddenly right in front of you and BLAMMO! you're over your break up. Until that happens, though, don't forget these simple things.—Katie
Don't stand outside your ex's house with a boombox
This is the second time in a week that I've referenced this uber-creepy move from Say Anything but it bears repeating—no one actually wants that done to them! Imagine you're nestling into bed for the night only to look out your window and see your bug-eyed ex of the past, straining under the weight of his Bose iPod dock as he blasts that Really Special Beach House song you guys both liked. Hell. No. Just don't do it, people. Don't do it.
Don't fall for nonesense
If your emotionally distant ex shows up at your door with a "romantic" speech trying to win you back, don't be swayed. Listen, if my questionable ex popped up at my door expecting full forgiveness after a dumb speech filled with cliches, fuhgudaboutit. You dumped that person for a reason! Just because they have an aptitude for public speaking does not mean they have changed in the slightest. Bolt your door immediately and fire up the Taylor Swift.
If a doctor is like, "Hey, we can delete all the memories of your ex!" just say no.
Although it's tempting to forget they ever existed in the first place, don't waste your money on fancy brain zapping gadgets! First of all, you'll probably just end up falling for them again anyway (ah, romance), and second of all, just pop on a few seasons of Laguna Beach. It will soothe you to sleep and will probably kill more brain cells than any lousy old machine.