"Silk for Slouching"
Grand Total: $2,970
DUUUUUUDE. Yo. I mean. I wish I could slouch in nearly $3K worth of clothes. It'd be the slouchiest slouch I ever slouched. That sweatshirt she's wearing is $675, so... it's reasonable and I'm definitely going to buy it.
"Not Silk, Still Slouching"
Grand Total: $85
Alternative Crewneck Sweatshirt
Staring At Stars Majestic Lounge Pant
Classic Plimsoll Sneaker
Sure, Gwyn has on those cool wedge sneakers, but they're also $600. If you're saving up your pennies, get some basic, cheap sneakers and call it a day. If you're feeling especially luxurious, you can always spring for your own cool wedges, but if you're just kickin' it around the house, KEDs will never let you down.
Grand Total: $2,635
FYI, that bag is $1,695 and it's actually sold out on Net-A-Porter. One day I will be able to afford such luxuries, but until then let's buy the $39 bag and all sing together: "I had a dream my life would be so different from this hell I'm liiiiving."
Grand Total: $97
Daydreamer LA Trapeze Tee
Fire Polka Dot Pull-On Short
Kimchi Blue Envelope Crossbody Bag
Like, when it really comes down to it, Gwyn is wearing some shorts and a tee shirt that cost more than my rent, and I am so jealous.
"Maxi at Home"
Grand Total: $2,637
Just another casual look for hangin' at home with pals, NBD. I wish I could swan around in what is almost a ball gown on Game Night with my friends, but sadly I can't do that because chips would probably get stuck to the bottom of my skirt and also cat hair and also my Poor Person tears would stain the satin trimming.
Grand Total: $102
BDG Triblend Shirttail Tank Top
Sparkle & Fade Mesh Inset Maxi Skirt
Ecote Pinwheel Cutout Lace-Up Sandal
So, there we go! Now we all look just as classy and GOOP-y as Gwyn. Once I become a famous actress and marry John Mayer, I'm totally going to start a blog so people can see how I spend $800 to have Cheetos bulk shipped in every morning, but until then I will keep buying my $14 tank tops and living vicariously through Gwynth while playing "Every Teardrop Is a Waterfall" on repeat.