When Alexander Bell invented the telephone he had 3 missed calls from Chuck Norris.
There used to be a street named after Chuck Norris, but it was changed because nobody crosses Chuck Norris and lives.
Chuck Norris has a grizzly bear carpet in his room. The bear isn't dead it is just afriad to move.
Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.
Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that's why there are no signs of life.
If you rate this 5 roundhouse kicks, then Chuck Norris WILL roundhouse kick Justin Bieber's ass.*
(*I guess Chuck already knows about that Justin Bieber fella? I can't believe he actually beat up that kid. So I guess that means that some of these ARE real?)