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BreakupText

Breaking up is the worst, right? Back in my day you had to actually dump a girl to her face, then pretend to care while she sat there crying, and you stealthily checked your watch, wondering how long you were obligated to wait before you could go call her better-looking friend.

Kids these days can just break up via text and it's not even considered bad manners. Or, an even easier route, use the Internet to do your dirty work for you. Don't have the balls to let him or her down yourself? Let BreakupText do it for you. A combination of an ad-libs style fill-in-the-blank form and drop down lists of premade statements, BreakupText takes guiltless, nonchalant heartbreak to the next logical level, sending your dismissal from a different number so you don't even have to deal with your deserted lover's anguished replies. —Angelo